(At)tempting fate's bluff, and chinwagging with a VIP (very important Pole).

Prepare yourselves people, this whole story is just too tragic. Honestly, it's like Romeo and Juliet meets Wuthering Heights (in terms of tragic romance, since the plot really bears no ressemblance to either. ) So anyway, here is the story. Prepare tissues. For weeping, there aren't any naughty bits.

I was like all sad and sleepy, so I'd skipped my one class today to go shopping with Lisa, my Mitbewohnerin. Note how the whole situation only arose due to randomly deciding to skip uni, and this was in turn due to me being sad. Time for fate to strike or what? That way you can look back and say, "Gosh, and it all only happened because I decided to skip that class that day." That's the kind of thing people say, isn't it? That's what HAPPENS. Right. So we'd been a-shopping. Not hugely successfully, but a few purchases had been made. Then we came back. I wasn't going to come back. I actually had my swimming stuff with me and had been intending to go to the pool straight from the shopping centre. But I hadn't gone, because we'd mooched around for too long and decided to stop off for summat to drink. So I hadn't gone to class. I hadn't gone swimming. So I was there. At the right time. For the...

DINOSAUR ATTACK.

Not a real dinosaur. Obv, you fool. A person dressed as a dinosaur. Handing out flyers for a puppet theatre show round the corner, in under an hour. And behind the dinosaur, there he stood. The most beautiful man in the world. He had such lovely eyes. He was holding a microphone-on-a-stick. And the other, also quite good looking but essentially insignificant from the perspective of fate, man was holding a TV camera. They asked me what I thought about puppet theatre. NO IDEA what I said. The whole thing was a little weird. But never mind. It turned out they were Swedish, and making a documentary for Swedish TV. Cool. So they asked if we were gonna go, and we said maybe. Then he looked me right in the eyes. And I fell in love. And he said he'd see hopefully me there. And I died.

Of course I went. Lisa couldn't make it coz she had to go meet a friend. I myself had a meeting in another part of the city at half six. It started at half five. But I went. Of course I went. It was in the Schokofabrik, this funky little bar/venue/thing just round the corner from where I live. Just going in there was cool I guess, as I'd not got round to it. It was so cool. Totally dilapidated. And only a few people there, all of whom were either involved in the venue or the puppet theatre. Or Swedish TV. Yup, there he was. SO I sit myself down on a like table type thing. Then I get interviewed about my views on puppet theatre and why I'd decided to come (I claimed it was because of the dinosaur). The best thing was that I was actually instructed to look at him while talking. And his eyes were so lovely, and he was smiling at the amusing things I said. They said they'd speak to me again afterwards. I sit back down.

Then began the waiting. The people doing the show were kinda amateur, so it took them a long time to get ready. I had quite a nice chat to a couple of people there. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact I had just fallen in love with Swedish man and wanted to go tell him we should spend ourt lives together I'd have been generally pround of myself just for going and talking to people auf Deutsch. But time was a-ticking by, and I was getting worried. The meeting, remember? I had to be in the Nikolaiviertel by 1830 and by the time they finally got going, it was already 1800. Shit.

It was marvellous. It was basic and witty and they got bits wrong and it was hilarious and just a little bit moving. Oh, and all the characters were birds. They were typical generation X guys. In a band and shit, getting worried about the future. You know the deal. But time was going by. I'd managed to make slight eye contact with my future husband a couple of times, but obviously he was kinda busy filming stuff (by this time they'd swapped, and he was holding the camera while otherman held the microphone-on-a-stick.) But it was already half six when the thing finally ended. I went to the back of the room to grab my coat and headed for the door. And there they were, outside, waiting for me. So I do my short interview about what I'd thought about the show. I say how great it was. It was great. I do all of this looking straight at otherman while He holds the camera. I couldn't look at him, coz I wasnae allowed. I presume he was still looking beautiful.

And then I had to go. I was so late. There was no time to chat. No time to ask him what he was doing in Berlin, if he lives here, what channel he works for, if I'm gonna be on TV, how old he is, if he has a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a phone number, a name. I had to go. So I went. I smiled cheerfully and said goodbye. And hurried off to my meeting. I ran. Ran to to the U-Bahn. Ran from the U-Bahn, past the TV-Tower, past the Christmas Market, smelling of Glühwein and Wurst, past the Ferris Wheel. And I got to the meeting, only 15 minutes late. And two people were still not there. Kitti had rung. She wasn't going to be there for another 20 minutes.

I had left. I had RUN. I had run away from what will probably be my only chance of happiness in my entire life.For nothing. For social obligation. I could have stayed another 20 minutes with no negative consquences. I could at least have asked his name.

I went back later of course, after the meeting, after the couple of mugs of Glühwein. I claimed to have lost my gloves. He wasn't there anymore. He's probably somewhere editing my face and words to fit the requirements of a Swedish documentary about the weirdos who live in Berlin and spend their days wandering around in furry hats and going to puppet theatre. I hope he thinks I was cute.

Bryn
xxxx

P.S. I'm interviewing the Polish foreign minister on stage tomorrow. Go me.

I'm not dead.

Hello!

I've been told I have to write in the blog again, so here I am to fulfill people's wish. Sorry for the total lack of writing anything, I was just getting all pissed off at blogging. But here I am to give it another go. The fact that my laptop has randomly decided to stop being able to play DVDs means I have a lot of time to kill. (That's right, I'm STILL not really doing much work.) I've been a bit down and homesick recently, and have thus been watching lots of Ab Fab. But now I can't anymore, coz life despises me. Or maybe just wants me to leave the flat.

But I do! I leave it regularly. Every day in fact. (Actually, that may be true, I think it's been a long time now since I had a day where I didn't actually go out at all.) Since I haven't written in over a month I'm just gonna have to skip over November (which was lovely, thanks) and jump straight to today. I went on a trip to the Finnish embassy with the Finnish class, which was cool. I was feeling a bit shakey after a rather hardcore weekend, but it was still fun having alook around. In a typically smug gesture of Nordic solidarity Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Iceland and Finnland all have their embassies together in a very modern, fabulously stylish complex of little buildings. It's fit. I also chatted a bit with some people in the class, which was nice. I think things are slowly starting to thaw out there, it's just taking a lot of time, and I'm having to put in a LOT of charm. However, and this is gonna sound dreadful, I reckon that what with it being a class of 32 with only 3 boys, of whom I am so the best looking, I should be well placed to make some nice female friends (coz my life is so lacking those!). That may sound harsh, but I'm beginning to realise that I am really rather attractive and fanciable...

TO WOMEN. No good for my love life, but at least if they think I'm cute they're more likely to wanna be friends with me. Is that evil? Maybe, but I don't care. I need to speak more German!

However, the being good-looking only seems to work on girls, since even at gay clubs in one of the gayest cities in the world I am still universally ignored. I'm thinking the presumption that I would acquire a boyfriend during this year is gonna need a rework, which in turn has a pretty serious knock-on effect on my hopes of ever getting one ever in my life. I really have a lot resting on this year. 

Actually the boyfriend situation is a relatively small problem compared to the Big Question. Do I like Berlin? Obv I do like Berlin. I love it. But do I like it enough? Will I come back after my degree? Will I actually try and attempt to have a life abroad? I just don't know. I really don't. And that's a bid deal for me, as it shows how much this whole experience is challenging me. Before getting here I was so naive, so presumptious. I was so definite that I'd bugger off as soon as my degree was done with. But it's really not easy. I also really don't know why I'm so bothered by this question already. I've still got months left to make up my mind. I should probs concentrate more on having fun and less on...whatever that is...

Right, now I'm gonna see if I can get this bloody DVD to play. Hopefully I will be able to. Or I'm not gonna be impressed. I shall leave you with some joy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=444L2Kc4zIg

Sooooo good. It's been a really big hit here (they're from Dresden) and I got the album today. Very impressive. I reckon they could even make it in England, since the album is in English. They're coming to Berlin in a couple of months, maybe I'll see if I can get some people together to go see them.

Aaaanyhoo, good night people. If you're there. If not I feel better for writing this anyway, so that's all good. Ciao!